Report from the Platform Project Working Group - March 29, 1996
The call was for Cocphhonyist's to provide new vitality in party platforms. Here are some of the tangible results from a first event.
One person brought a copy of Why say no?
from the Chicago Surrealist Group.
Report by: Richard (email@example.com)
Ideas put forth ...
- To deal with the psychotic homeless hordes on our city streets I propose we manufacture thousands of plastic mobile phone models. While it would not solve the homeless problem at least it they will not look crazy as they talk to themselves through their phones. It will make them look like up and coming business types.
- Also on homeless and hungry people, we should provide many locations throughout the country where people can get free food. These locations henceforth called feeding stations would provide somewhat nutritious but terrible food tasting food. Only really hungry people would want to eat there. Also all people would be required to keep their car doors unlocked so homeless people could spend the night there if it is raining or windy.
- People should not be allowed to speak
- Everyone should be forced to go on a daytime talk show and say something embarrassing. (Especially POLITICIANS)
- Abolish all Borders! Don't fence me in! (RONN) Borders should migrate. When Romco wants to visit his 3rd cousin Juliet across the border, he should be able to move the border to go court her. So, people should wear fences to be sure that the border in maintained but flexible. Barbed wire necklaces are a nice touch.
- (From Reptile)
- MT. DIABLO = RECLINING INDIAN CHIEF
- TWIN PEAKS = RECLINING INDIAN MAIDEN
- SUTRO TOWER = PHALLIC ERECTION IN GROIN AREA OF RECLINING INDIAN MAIDEN
CONCLUSION : SINCE INDIAN MAIDEN CHANGED INTO HERMOPHPHRODITE - THINGS ALL SCREWED UP.
THEREFORE : DESTROY SUTRO TOWER
- (from the Pan-angst party)
- at our convention Pat Bucanan will give **** to all delegates and serve tea and watercress sandwiches
- We are all in trouble from AIDS - worried we'll get it - unaware we're in trouble - getting it - got it & dying from it. so we all need to be on drugs to combat this. Barbiturates help! Hashish, opium, Valium, Vicodan whatever we can get
- all undesirables shall be sent to areas too miserable for human habitation i.e. - Gilroy, therefore any decent area must have acceptable behavior from those who live there - as to what is acceptable let cacophony decide.
- Build a giant fan atop the mt. sutro tv tower to blow the fog out of the sunset district and out to sea - or at least on the Richmond district.
AMENDMENT - solar fan (frank) or blow fog to LA
- People should be paid for being alive - basic subsistence (after all, Hitler got a stipend when he was a young man deciding whether to be a painter, opera director or Fuhrer)
- End unemployment! imprison all people over the age of 14 so that we can use their labor to beat China out of the job market and control crime.
- to The Platform Project home page