CLASSROOM FILM REVIVAL
Sunday, Dec. 11, 8 PM
If you're in your late twenties or older, you'll remember those punishingly
boring films educators used to show to instill fear and conformity in
their students. Younger Cacophonists will at least be familiar with the style
through countless parodies or snippets from the classics. Whatever age, any
student of bad cinema and propoganda will enjoy the stilted acting and
insiduous mind-control techniques of tonight's features -- one dozen short
16 mm films uncovered in a Pomona thrift store. Topics in tonight's showing
range from crime and punishment in the classroom, a tale of one repressive
suburban's family abortive camping trip, unintentionally suggestive lessons
in the difference between "hot" and "cold," pedophilial studies of young
children excercising, and a traffic-safety paen to the "traffic cop inside
your head." The showing is free, will last approximately 2 hours. Drinks and
deserts available during the screening. Talking will not be tolerated.
Note-passers will have their messages intercepted and read to the entire
class.
Where: Nova Express,
RAILING AND RANTING ON THE BLUELINE
Saturday, December 17, 2 PM
Remember those rambling railyard days, when we used to hop a freight car,
huddle around a single bottle of everclear and read each other poetry? Kind
of? In a foggy sort of way? Actually, we paid $2.20 for the roundtrip ticket
to Long Beach, and forget that single bottle theory; everybody naturally had
their own. But we did read poetry to each other and to the confused-amused
passengers around us. It was fun. We did it every month. We're doing it
again. Open reading. Don't be shy. Bring your own poems in a brown bag.
Where: The Grand & Washington platform, downtown LA. Please be there in
plenty of time for the 2 PM train.
BAZAAR OF BAD TASTE
Saturday, Dec. 17, 8 PM - 2 AM
Do you love things that are ugly? Are you compelled to collect artifacts from
a lost world of cool, music and fashions left behind in the dustcloud of
changing tastes? Do you drool in thrift stores? Pray facing in the direction
of Graceland? Enjoy the baroque ecesses of your Grandma's mobile home? Laugh
when your winking uncle gets out the whoopie cushion? Of course you do! You
have the best in bad taste! And we're inviting you to join us in a celebration
of the gaudy and the gauche at our little Bazaar. Come on down and sip a
Champagne & Tang mimosa, browse through the records, clothes, toys and
object de'art from Mondo Video, Archaic Idiots, Icon-fess, Klik Klik
Bang Bang, Retail Slut, Chilly Chile, & the Archives of Aesthetic Nihilism.
Gawk at the treasures of Doren Fido's Poodle Museum. Or bring your own stuff
to sell, swap or simply show off. Enjoy the bad music from last month's
"Weird Music Swap," (tapes available) and other live diversions including a
bad fashion show by Retail Slut, the vocal stylings of lounge dinosaur Eddie
Vegas, acts of unbridled vanity by Elizabeth Rowin, disgraceful excesses by
Bieno Svengali & Mistress Jennifer, a live demo of paint-by-number artistry,
readings from the poetry of Suzanne Sommers and Rod McKuen, a special visit by
Santa, and other spontaneous outbursts of bad taste and bad behaviour. What
better way to celebrate this Season of Excess, and to pick up a few big-eyed,
single-tear shedding, glitter-spattered, flourescent fur-bearing stocking
stuffers for kindred spirits on your shopping list? If you would like to
display or sell things of your own, and have more than a couple of items or
things that need to be hung, please arrive before 7 PM. If you interested in
having your own table please call before Dec. 13. And by all means dress
ugly!
PSYCHOPOSTAL WORKSHOP
Thursday, Feb. 16
This country would be a lot less interesting if it weren't for lunatics. Let's
face it, they're the ones who this country was founded by. Few of us can
boast of the quaint imbalances of a Jefferey Dahmer or David Koresh, but we
sure as hell can pretend. Tonight we'll be testing our shizoid capabilties
by writing psychotic mail, the kind that keep the guys down at the Federal
Bureauy of Investigatisons entertained. Not being completely mad, we all
could use a little help so, here's the system we're implementing: You'll be
drawing from a hat all the elements you will need to compose your letter,
including the names of the individual you'll be writing, a fictious identity
for you the writer, and some central message or revelation to convey. For
example: "Dear Michael Boltonn , Im a three-hundred-pound hermaphrodite, and
California will be sinking into the ocean next year so you must move.."
All we need are the names of those people you so bring along addresses of
particularly icky celebrities, long-neglected penpals, friends, family, or
others who would deserve and appreciate this kind of mail.
Host: Dawn
EULOGY FOR THE CRANK CALL
Thursday, Feb. 23
February is Crank Communicatios month in the world of Cacophony. Close
on the heels of our psycho-letter-writing workshop, comes this tribute to
an endangered art form. Already threatened with extinction by the popularity
of automatic dialback, record company executives have begun memorializing the
prank call with golden-oldie style CD compilations. Now even Hollywood is
squeezing the last drop of bloods from the phenomena with the release of a
feature length comedy, inspired by the antics of acknowledged kings of the
crank call, the Jerky Boys. As Cacophonists, of course, you hold a natural
affinity for this pathological pastime, and today is the day, we are asking
you to come forward and pay your respects. We know you've probably been
collecting or making recordings of your own for years now. So bring them
over. We're going to listen to these tapes together, swap 'n dub, and though
we wouldn't want to encourage anyone in this nasty habit, we also couldn't
possibly restrain anyone from utilizing that speaker phone as a source of live
entertainment.
Host: Tom
GRAFITTI HOUSEWARMING
Sat., Feb. 25
Last month an unwitting East Hollywood landlord rented a dilapidated
two-story house to some of your Cacophonist comrades. In the following weeks
the neighborhood trembled as this innocuous pastel peach building was
transformed by a violent shockwave of purple paint. A six foot Tiki head and
appeared in the living room window, and strange lights were seen hovering
over the roof. Even the gang members who'd been using the abandoned property
as a playground dared not return. But their tags remained all over the
hallways, and this graffiti has inspired the new tenants with visions of a
interior even more lavishly trashed with spraypaints. So they're throwing a
a party, and giving you the chance to vent your artistic frustrations all over
their halls. Put that silly fine arts degreee to work! Bring paints,
brushes, fingerpaint, crayons, pictures, collage items, favorite Bible
passages -- anything with which to make your permanent mark in the world of
Cacophony (or at least its' hallway). Drinks and snacks would also come in
handy.